Heart Attack?

So, this weekend, I went to check out my mark on a midterm in my history class, posted outside our professor's office.

What did I get? 35%. Out of 100%. The lowest mark in the class. And what was the class average? 69%. Ouchy.

So, for the rest of the entire weekend, I felt like a mess. After studying so hard, thinking I understood the concepts, and doing all those readings, this was what I got. So, I should have studied pretty hard this weekend... but I felt like just saying "What does it matter? Apparently I can't get anything right anyways, even when I think I can. Why should I waste the effort?"

The entire weekend, I felt like a huge failure. I tried to tell myself I've been successful, that a single failed midterm did not define me, nor did it make me a failure; I've gotten the highest mark in several classes before; surely that cancels out this one horrible failure?

And so, today I went to go see my prof, just to find out what I did so wrong before I dropped the class. So we found my test. And it was a mistake. Everyone else had a percentage posted, but for whatever reason, my test had the raw score posted. What was my real mark? 35/45. Maybe not amazing, but much, much better than 35%.

And bang, I'm no longer a failure. Nothing made me feel better than when he went outside and scribbled out the old "percentage" and replaced it with my new, pretty one.

Just like that. A bit of ink, a few wrist movements. A failure becomes someone worthy again.

After all, a student's worth is defined by numbers and letters, is it not? That's what this is all about. A piece of paper with a few letters... the closer to the beginning of the alphabet, the more you are worth. The better you feel inside. The more options you have. The more doors that open.

Doesn't it feel great to be worth something?

Picture: What does it even mean?
Song: Brand New - The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows