Friday, December 01, 2006

Underwear


Above:
My roomate, Erin, modelling a new phenomenon -
plastic bag underwear. Available now at grocery
stores everywhere.


In order to commemorate the last two weeks of ridiculously subzero temperatures and wind chill, I have decided it is time to discuss an important winter subject.

Long underwear.

Now, for the last week and a half, I have kept my long underwear close to my heart. Or, more specifically, my legs and buttocks. In fact, I have kept a few pairs of long underwear close to my heart/legs/buttocks. And all this long underwear closeness has made me think of a few important facts that all fellow long underwear lovers and lovers-to-be should know. So, here they are. The ins and outs of long underwear-wearing.

1) The words "long underwear" may lead one to believe that they can replace your regular underwear. Just like the words "Second Cup" may lead one to believe that refills are free. Both of these, however, are misconceptions. In other words... don't forget your knickers.

2) Long underwear is a fashion trend in my home. If you like the idea of a long underwear party, or you are a fellow long underwear lover, come on over and show off your favourite threads.

3) Having your long underwear fall down underneath your pants is really awkward. Try to avoid. Perhaps suspenders... after all, you've gone so far into dork land as to wear long underwear. You're already in, might as well go all the way.

4) Having your long underwear fall down is not as awkward, however, as having your pants fall down... and not realize it because the sensation of long underwear makes you feel as if you were fully clothed. Make sure to wear a belt... or a second pair of suspenders may also do the trick.

All right, now that I've solidified my entrance into geekdom, it is time for me to go to bed early. Yes. Early on a Friday night. Go team.

Song: Alex Llyod - Still Waiting
Picture: Get Together?

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