Friday, December 17, 2004

Chocolate: More than a want. More than a need.

Email from friend that is so very true.


The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands.
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.


DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

In our house, we have had many a discussion as to just how important chocolate is. The conclusion is, according to the experts, chocolate is better than sex, in most cases. Like, if you were to have a pepto-bismol coated chocolate, that would be an exception to the rule.

And to finish off this web log with a quick moment of truth:
Chocolate is what men prayed to God for to deliver them from women. Amen.

2 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

Chocolate IS wonderful... drool.Now I want some... stupid addiction.

6:18 p.m.  
Blogger Ian said...

I appreciate the advice, but if i give a woman chocholet over and over, isnt that a bad thing?
Ian

10:34 p.m.  

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