Despite You
So scared of leaving me behind
When I found it in you
Yet, I like it so much better
and you
you have much less than
I originally thought...
leaving me far ahead
and you
you are stranded behind,
choking on your emptiness.
Because while everything changed
I still have what I believe in
and I never gave it away.
And your lies
Cannot hurt me
because lies only hurt those
that believe them
and take them to heart
but I've kept mine pure
despite you
and yours
just pretty to look at
but never to touch.
So I've let go
and sometimes I still wonder
if everything that happened
was all just pretty to look at
and if there ever was anything
that I touched
that really was pure
and beautiful
and worth keeping for myself.
Or maybe that's just me
innocent, trusting, insecure
that sees everything
as real
yet always one step away
behind this wall
waiting
for the lies to surface.
and I like everything that's come
of this and become part of me
but you'll never know
because I'm closed now
and though you don't see it
and didn't realize it was there
I've painted that wall between us
a colour opague and changing
and you'll never see through it
again.
Song: Sense Field - Save yourself
Picture: Just this...
posted by Jeanine @ 1:36 a.m.
3 Comments:
That's a beautiful poem Jeanine...
I was doing everything possible to avoid studying for my comparative european politics final and so I decided to look at the profiles of the people on my msn messenger list. I read through many of them but when I got to yours, something in my head said "what has been going on with Jeanine?" You and I were never close. I never even message you on msn, but I was thinking about you Jeanine. I was thinking about your big smile and your quirky ways and you being so clumsy and joyful and how great of a person you were and most likely still are. lol... That was fabulous run-on sentence.
But now I know what has been going on with you, and it looks like things have been going great and I am so happy for you. I love how real you are. And that is indeed a very beautiful poem.
Lots of Love from a long lost aquaintance and former co-worker from Dawson Creek -Danielle.
Thanks, Lisa! You probably know what it's about...
I just felt I needed to get some of the pent up feelings out and writing things always lets it out the way nothing else can.
Wow, Danielle... It's been so long! Did you know that I still have the card that you gave me for my birthday, just before you moved (actually, you weren't able to make it to my birthday because you moved!)
Hehe, sometimes I forget about who I used to be and where I came from. I'm still clumsy and quirky, I think, but not quite as much as I used to be. It's funny to think back to the days in DC, because it wasn't really that long ago but it certainly feels like a thousand years has passed... and I wonder how you've been doing yourself. How you've changed and grown and the things you've learned about yourself and the world. I am definitely going to have to talk to you on msn again sometime.
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