Taboo

Ramblings....

I have no idea what I think about the male population in general right now. Except that I do like guys, and I really have no idea why. They don't seem to serve that much purpose. Still, I like them all, every last one of them. I like flirting and enjoying their company and I like it when they like me in return. I like it when they do thoughtful things, like opening doors, pulling out chairs, holding me to warm me up, letting me sleep on their shoulder, walking me home, massages... okay, so maybe they do serve a purpose. But when it comes to dating, I am incredibly picky and never can make anything last more than a few dates. I just never like them enough to put in the effort. Is something wrong with me? Or them? Or both?

All I know is that, it's been a very, very long time since I had my socks knocked off by someone I really really liked. I'm sure it's been said before, but I really want someone I would like enough to work for, and someone who would work hard for me too. Someone that would make me care about shaving my legs. Someone I would think about first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I want that, and while I'm open to dating new guys, I guess all I'm really doing is waiting for that right person to come along and make me purchase some new razors. So... that sounds somewhat psychotic. But that person would laugh and understand. So where is that person? Will I ever meet them? Do I already know them? Have they been there all along and I've been too blind to notice? If this sounds desperate, trust me, I'm not really searching, just waiting and biding my time. He wouldn't have to be that attractive. Some of they guys I've dated have been really good looking, and some have been average, and I've found it isn't the outside that makes me want to be with someone. He wouldn't have to have money, or a car, or a fancy job. But he would have tons of personality. He would not only be able to keep up with me, but he would challenge me further. He would somehow just be right, and feel right. Sometimes, though, I wonder if that person really exists, because I've gone through a lot of really great guys and I'm just hoping it's not all for naught.

Sometimes, I think I should go back to my "not into dating because I'm too busy policy."

Life seemed a lot simpler then.

Song: Howie Day - Collide
Picture: I'll get nervous again