Trainwreck...

Everything is so upside down. I'm so confused about so many things, and so hurt. I feel betrayed; I tried so hard to do what I thought was the right thing, and everything's been misunderstood. I made a mistake and although I'm glad I made it because I learned from it, I know it's going to effect more than just me, and it's not going to go away despite my regret. I'm exhausted, and I can't sleep. I'm starving, and I can't make myself eat. I have to study, and I can't think.
I just want this to go away, just for a moment. Put everything back to the way it was. Take all the hurt and broken trust.
It's a good thing that this is the easiest term I've ever had academically, because emotionally, it's just been the biggest trainwreck, from beginning to end. All I want to do in these situations is run, run, run away. Put on my running shoes. Go for a bike. Hop on a train to Quebec. A plane to Australia. Leave it all behind and start over.
If only life were that simple... erase rewind.
But as much as I want to, that isn't me. I never let go of my responsibilities unless I don't have another choice. So here I am, toughing it through once again. It's okay, I'm used to all nighters and fudging my way through midterms. I'm a pro at smiling, or gritting my teeth and pushing through, when all I want to do is cry. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? One more time into the breach, and all that jazz.
F***ers.

Picture: Unknown
Music: The Used - The Taste of Ink