MUGs Coordinator!

So, I am officially the new MUGs Coordinator!
It's so strange to suddenly become Orientation staff. It's still the same old Jeanine, except my priorities and how I look at Orientation have become completely different. Not to mention... my own office! And it's really cool to have a say in how Orientation is run. It's funny how so many decisions were put on hold until I got hired; nobody really knew anything about how MUGs was going to be run, until today, when I just walked in and suddenly my position transformed and I became Jeanine with all the MUGs answers. So weird, but so exciting!!
Group interviews were so much fun today. Not to mention, getting to hang out with Robyn and the rest of the staff. Too much fun.
As for all the other stuff.... I'm not sure when or how, but I know it'll sort itself out eventually. At least, I hope it will. I'm confident of it. But right now, I guess I just need some time to let myself heal because I was hurt more than I realized. I've never been able to hold a grudge against someone for more than a day. I've already let it go, but I guess my trust will never be what it was before, and that hurts the most.
But, back to MUGs Coordinator! So random and not at all anything I expected to be doing, or the position I would have over this summer. It's nuts. And I'm already so freaking glad I said yes after a mere 12 hours of it being official. This summer is going to ROCK!!!

Music: Something Corporate - As You Sleep

Trainwreck...

Everything is so upside down. I'm so confused about so many things, and so hurt. I feel betrayed; I tried so hard to do what I thought was the right thing, and everything's been misunderstood. I made a mistake and although I'm glad I made it because I learned from it, I know it's going to effect more than just me, and it's not going to go away despite my regret. I'm exhausted, and I can't sleep. I'm starving, and I can't make myself eat. I have to study, and I can't think.
I just want this to go away, just for a moment. Put everything back to the way it was. Take all the hurt and broken trust.
It's a good thing that this is the easiest term I've ever had academically, because emotionally, it's just been the biggest trainwreck, from beginning to end. All I want to do in these situations is run, run, run away. Put on my running shoes. Go for a bike. Hop on a train to Quebec. A plane to Australia. Leave it all behind and start over.
If only life were that simple... erase rewind.
But as much as I want to, that isn't me. I never let go of my responsibilities unless I don't have another choice. So here I am, toughing it through once again. It's okay, I'm used to all nighters and fudging my way through midterms. I'm a pro at smiling, or gritting my teeth and pushing through, when all I want to do is cry. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? One more time into the breach, and all that jazz.
F***ers.

Picture: Unknown
Music: The Used - The Taste of Ink