Week of vacation?

Holy leaping leopards!

I've been busy, but right now I have a break, and instead of finally getting around to my unpacking, I am blogging. Procrastinating already. The new year is off to a great start.

So, I've had a fun filled week of MugL training, giving practice tours to my new roomates, dealing with my suddenly difficult landlords (I have no idea what their problem is, but I hope to heck they get over it soon, because they're driving me nuts), meeting my kinese advisor, getting in touch with friends, escaping killer wasps (at least, they could have been killer. they had the killer look about them), and stocking up my food cupboards before the school year starts.

Yesterday, I had my A-team interview. I think it went pretty well, hopefully I won't have to resort to working for the B or C team. It was a pretty casual interview, but I still get nervous during interviews, and I was glad when it was over. I hate how afterwards, I always go over every little thing in my head and think of something I missed, something I could have said better, etc. I remember one of the questions was, what kind of people do I find it difficult to work with, and I think I should have said "overly aggressive people." I really think, when it comes down to it, that those are the only kind of people that affect my work performance negatively. In other words, my supervisor from last year. I think that's my #1 reason I don't want to do event staff this year. Attilla the Hun. The secondary school teacher from hell. I thanked the heavens every day that I worked with her, that I never had her in eight grade. I wonder if the suicide rates go up in her grade? Okay, that wasn't that funny, but she has got to be on some sort of strange drug. She probably has higher levels of testosterone than most men I know.

Anyways, I have to stop the procrastination and get something done! Ciao for now.

Picture: Are you special?
Song: Fm Static - Crazy Mary

P.S. I forgot to mention, I got the awesomest birthday gifts ever yesterday from my good friend, Ian... this insane magnetic girl that you put together and has funky hair, and a stuffed bed bug. For anyone that gets the second present, I'm sure you'd find it as amusing as I did. That's all!

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I think that everyone has moments when they wonder if they were actually present in their bodies (or at least their minds) after doing something. I know I most certainly do ask myself, sometimes... "Where the heck was I, and who was the stranger that momentarily had control over my body?" You know, the feeling after you've done something, said something, acted a certain way, only to look back and ask "Was that really me?" I'm pretty sure we all have moments when we feel "less than ourselves," or times when we don't act like ourselves.

But this isn't a post about when we're not ourselves, or at our least... this is a post about what makes us act our best. What makes you feel comfortable in your skin, makes you happy, makes you feel alive. There doesn't have to be just one thing. It can be several pieces; places, people, activities, etc. In Kananaskis, it felt like all the pieces floating around finally came together and I was whole again. There were just so many things that made me feel alive.

Once again, the first thing I think of is running. But not just anywhere.... there's this path that winds in and out by the river, where it's just me, the green of the forest, the trees overhead, the path in front of me that's just begging for me to leave my footprints on it. And my breathing. It's this amazing twisting, turning, overgrown trail, with fallen trees and mud pits and thin planks of wood over the small streams. It's amazing and I hope I can find something similarily un-maintained in Edmonton... I'll cross my fingers but I have my doubts.

What else is there? I love rafting, it's such a rush. A hard paddle with that great wave as a reward. I love the kids; it's so much fun to talk them into seeing how much potential they really have. I feel alive when I hear a great song, either in my room, or anywhere that feels right, and I can't help but dance, don't think about it for a second, just feel and move. To feel free of any inhibition, to never hold back anything. To laugh at something hilarious. To laugh at nothing at all. To ride down a long downhill after a long uphill, and let go of the handlebars, because it feels like you're flying. And for a second... maybe you really are. Diving into a still pool. Telling the kids an outrageous story and hearing their protests and laughter. Mountains. A surprise hug. Running through a sprinkler in 30 degree heat. Road trips. Getting lost (somewhat deliberately) and taking your time finding your way back. Making someone you love or care about smile, because you've been able to show them, for a second, what you see in them that makes them so wonderful.

I think that loving someone makes you feel alive. Like when you're with them, the missing pieces come together and suddenly, you're the person you've always wanted to be. The person that you knew was inside you somewhere, just waiting to surface. And this is what makes it so hard to be apart from, or lose someone you love. You no longer have that key that you need to unlock yourself.

I don't know if I ever manage to express an ounce of what I ever really feel, but somehow, in trying to, I get some sort of wonderful satisfaction. Thanks for spending the time to listen to my thoughts... I've been so blessed to have so many wonderful friends who really care. I want you all to know that I always keep a part of you with me, and that I wouldn't be the same without it.

(...good night!)

New Cellio Numero

Once again, for a bunch of reasons that I won't be getting into, I have a new cell phone number. And because I really don't care about who knows (I'm not too worried about random people calling my cell), I will post it once again.

Here it is, enjoy!!

(780) 690-8140

But call my house if you know I'm home because I don't carry it on me when I'm not on the go. That way, if you come try to visit me but I don't hear the doorbell or my cell phone ringing because I'm expecting people to call on my house phone, you won't think I'm standing you up. You know, just in case that were to happen at some point in time. Cause you never know....

Ciao!

Update?

So, I don't have too much to say... I am alive and well. In Dawson Creek until this coming friday, when I go back to school. Exciting news? Camp was awesome. I miss it a bunch. Had some awesome times and some awesome stories... hope I can get some pictures from friends to share.

Big surprise? I got into kinesiology. Didn't expect that... my GPA must have been borderline to the cutoffs for acceptance. Still, I am very excited. Nervous, because it'll be a big change from the double major in science I was in before... a completely different next couple of years from both the ones I had planned and the ones I have finished. Good thing most of my credit transfers. It kind of feels like all that hard effort I spent in organic chem, ecology, genetics, and that insane biopsych class were wasted... because I worked so hard and really enjoyed what I learned, but none of them transferred to my new program. What happens to past courses that don't transfer, but you did well in them? Do they end up in limbo, in lost course land?

Now I'm taking a full course load, instead of the lighter one I had planned. Transferring programs means I'll probably end up needing an extra half a year, but a cool part of that is that I have to complete a practicum, which I'm really excited about. I'll need to pull off some really good grades to get a practicum with a good agency, but I think I can (especially since this is kinese, and I love the coursework with a passion).

Well, now I think I'll go to bed, I'm still on Alberta time. Can't wait for this next week to start though, get to see all my friends here in DC, and then back to school for Mugs and OL training, and then ORIENTATION 2005!!! WOOOT!!!

It's my favourite part of the year and it's almost here!! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.